A grainy, high-contrast overhead
of a cluttered plate on the front cover. A gushing foreword, from an uncredited
author, waxes lyrical about the romance of the Wild West. Cowboys cooking
biscuits on skillets, tucking into bowls of Cowboy Stew, served from the chuck
wagon. Dusty trails, steers, cornbread and friendly natives. The foreword
concludes with a taste of what to expect in this selection of recipes,
submitted by the good wives of the southwest, who have diligently submitted, in
careful cursive, these ‘recipes for the man's fare of the Southwest.’
The ‘Salads and Appetizers’
section begins on a dubious note. ‘Long tall Texans probably scowled when their
women first served them salads and appetizers. Their idea of right eating meant
more substantial man-sized fare. If they could please skeptical six-footers,
they’re sure to win you over, too!’ The fresh molded mandarin salad, for
instance, submitted by Mrs. Joe Henery Nickols, of Dumas, Arkansas, is bound to
please, with its winsome combination of lemon gelatin, canned orange juice,
canned mandarin, canned pineapple and mayonnaise.
Niceties dispensed with, it’s
time to get down to business. Meats. ‘When a Southwesterner thinks food, he
thinks meat,’ says the unnamed
author, being paid per line by the Favorite Recipes Press. ‘Southwesterners
naturally prefer thick, juicy beef steaks and roasts, but they’ll admit that
pork and lamb taste mighty good to a hungry man. Whatever the meat, whatever
the method, every recipe in the following pages is guaranteed to fill up a
man!’ Recipes follow hard upon, from Mrs. Ronald L. Hudson, of Dublin, Texas;
from Mrs. Charles Redfield, Riverdale, Georgia; from Mrs. Sidney G. Ingram, of
Statesville, North Carolina. Terse prose. Brown meat. Combine remaining
ingredients. Add monosodium glutamate. Serve immediately. Eat the whole thing, now, y'hear. Tucked away in the bottom corner of a text-only page, the only man to
appear between the covers of the book reveals, shamefacedly, his clumsy,
ham-handed, oafish recipe. Mr. Paul Beeson, of Cacht, Oklahoma. The women giggle
behind their sheets of coupons, lean toward each other conspiratorially,
brushing crumbs from their aprons. ‘An Oklahoma man, in the kitchen? Well, I’ll
be.’ Mrs. Warren Blass triumphantly submits her famous Antelope in Cream
recipe, to general astonishment. Antelope. Why, that does sound exotic, don’t
you think, Mabel. Nobody is quite sure what to make of Mrs. Adrienne King, of
Dallas, Texas, whose intimidating offering of ‘Brains A La King’ sets mascaraed
lids fluttering.
Soups and stews. ‘Soup’s on!
This insistent call causes Southwesterners to perk up their ears and come a
runnin’. Beef, beans, and corn, you’ll discover in these pages, are typical
makin’s for soup and stews.’ The unnamed writer, in a dingy office in a New York skyscraper, is
getting into his stride. Mrs. Helen Gossmann, of Arapaho, Oklahoma, takes no
prisoners. Her recipe came in scrawled on the back of a receipt for hay bales,
heavy pencil marks threatening to break through the page. A smear of something
suspiciously like blood on the bottom corner. Cowboy Soup: 1 No. 2 can pork and
beans, 1 No. 2 can tomatoes, 2 cans Vienna sausage, 1c. water, 3 slices of
bacon. No Cowboy. She hurls the victuals into a cast-iron pot and stirs,
furiously, with brawny arms, roaring at errant children as she boots chickens
out of the way. The method: ‘Mix all ingredients in saucepan and cook. Serve
with crackers.’
The disapproval is palpable in
the desserts section. Nina Scanland’s recipe for Peppermint Pie appears, to
general consternation, on page 181. Oh honestly, Mrs. Nix, says Mrs. J. R.
Camp, at the Moultrie sewing circle, why that woman’s recipe appeared instead
of Mrs. Evans’ famous Prahze Ahce Cream, ah will never know. Peppermint Pah.
That’s right! Nina flashes a toothy smile. There is a little smear of scarlet
lipstick on her front teeth. Why, I just whip it right up, she says, patting
her bob. Easy as pie! A melodious titter. That’s what ah always say to Errol.
Easy as pie, I say. In’t that right honey. That’s right, sugar. 1 package
dessert topping mix, 2 sticks peppermint candy (crushed), 1 pt vanilla ice
cream, 1 tsp peppermint flavoring, and 1 10-inch premade graham cracker crust. And
that’s just all there is to it. Prepare topping mix according to package
instructions. Mix the other ingredients and fold in the topping mix. Turn into
the crust. Ay vwolla, as they say in Paris, France!
Mrs. J. R. Camp stabs her
needlework with unnecessary force, muttering under her breath.
